omg! IM evOLVInG

Did you ever roll a snowball down a hill?
well i did, it was called starting a blog. Man who would have thought ! i would never have believed someone who told me i would have a blog, but here i am, not with A blog, but with BLOGS! plural, i have started another blog, the contents of which were going to be inappropriate for the material that i put in this one. it is much less personal, and alot more .... inconsequential, however if you are interested in following my exploits in my new project, you may want to head on over to
www.365daysofwow.blogspot.com
and give 'er a read, and a follow if you think the project will be worth following, i think it will .

So Organic

The writing process is so organic, its what makes me want to do it , and what makes certain kinds of writing hard i guess, now that im thinking about it.

The process of writing a story is whatever works for the writer however there is some basic truth that functions for all writers (in some form or another) the planning, or pre-write stage wherein you have an idea, a shape of a story, even just a "Pitch" for a story in which a writer can more or less feel the story, even if they cant make out the details yet.

The Crafting, in whatever method a writer writes, they construct a story of some kind in the process , and the finishing where the writer revises, edits and changes the story to suit both their vision from step one, and practical application. as sometimes sacrifices are made for editing, they keep the main vision as best in site as the story warrants.

This is all little vague i realize, however it is the process that happens in between these points that is the reason i write, i know i have a character, and i know that she is going to talk, but honestly, until i reach chapter 2 scene 3 in my story, when its her turn to talk, i have NO idea what she has to say. I know i have a story to tell, i even know more or less how its going to end but whats going to happen to get us there, who will make it and who wont? well.. that is all up to the muses, as i have no particular designs until the words are already on paper, and once they are.. they are in stone (more or less editing not withstanding) I created characters, and i formed a story, but writing it is like watching a movie you never seen before, you know (more or less) how its going to end but its the journey that your taking that matters, if you have interest in writing, keep this in mind, your not supposed to know every detail before you type it, books write themselves, you just have to open your heart for them and let them out.

In Memorial..

So i just saw something disturbing... I was wondering what they were doing out there, but i have to admit, even im surprised by the depth of my reaction.

So there were these two guys outside, they are all dressed in city worker type stuff, orange overalls, with loud hats, the kind of guys you see in cherry pickers working on power/phone lines, or leaning of shovels at construction sites. And, being largely uncaring with the world around me for the most part, i paid very little attention, however since they were like, right in front of my writing window, i certainly noticed them monkeying around out there, with this long contraptions, like a grabby stick but like thirty feet long, like they were untangling a wire up high, so i anticipated loosing power and watched a little longer.

Well eventually they just walked away, and i thought, hmm... they must have got it.

However i was wrong.. they returned about twenty minutes later, with an even longer grabby stick , with a different grabby arm. Hmm i thought, they needed a different stick, and they proceeded to bang on the top of the transformer. That's right, they banged on the transformer.. i thought what the hell. but then of course, as you may have already figured out, their goal became apparent as i saw it up there.. being moved by the banging, the corpse of the raven that had the misfortune of touching the two towers on the transformer.

I suppose its warm perhaps, or another bird dared him, but as i saw the corpse falling to the ground, i noticed that my back yard had indeed been mostly bird-less the last few days, normally a small group of magpies and two ravens are out here, annoying my neighbors dogs, playing bait and switch games, stealing food and generally entertaining me while i work. but not for the last few days.

I will miss McCoy, that is the name i had given that raven "Raven McCoy" but more importantly i ask what would it cost us to put a chicken wire mesh hat on the transformers, seriously, just to keep ravens and squirrels from getting into them, like a buck , maybe two? why is this not done, it could even be employed as a protect our investments campaign cause leaves, kites, and flying debris would be kept off of it too.. so why isnt this done?

In Memory of Raven McCoy, i will post a picture, and give a cookie to anyone who knows where i got the name for the raven, cause then you will pay some respect to Him too. Please post a comment if you know, ill send your cookie at my expense kay.

i have no name for this post..

So i talked to my brother today, Happy birthday to him, and i have been thinking about, well, you know, the past history family and junk and i honestly cant remember the last thing i got him for his birthday. Don't put too much stock in that statement alone, i cant remenber the last thing he got me either, but im fairly certain the last thing i got him was a magazine for his 18th or maybe 17th, he turned 38 today.. I know, im ashamed of myself too.

So I'm thinking that maybe i should get hims something, but we are all grown up now, so im not sure what i should get him, if he lived in the same city as i did, i would likely get him a magazine with 100 dollar bill folded into it.. that would be not just poetic but funny AND a nice gift...

But that isnt the case, so i must decide what to do, should i get him something and have it shipped, should i just say to him, hey , do you want "stuff here" for your birthday? its been alot of years now since we saw each other, like 5 now, so how could i approximate getting a gift that suits his lifestyle, im not sure what his life style is ...

i will trust my instincts on this one i think, and send something that i devise to be a good present, and he will have to just accept that its the thought that counts if he doesnt like it or need it. :) i hope he likes/needs it though , cause it takes thought and effort to get people things from 2500 miles away .. right?

Happy 38th birthday man, i love you , hope you like it when you get it. (whatever it is)

hobbyist and professional

The difference between someone who does something for fun, and someone who does something for a living, could be vast and dynamic fundamental differences, but probably aren't.

I know that's a big statement, but if you consider it for a moment, perhaps you will agree with me,
know anyone who sings REALLY well when they are cleaning? or cooking? Know anyone who Dungeon Masters the GREATEST worlds. Know anyone who can dismantle and build a car backward and forward, with their eyes closed? then you know someone who could have been a singer, a writer and a mechanic, but hey an office assistant, gas jockey and web designer are important too right?

Guts and inspiration
that's the difference between a singer and an office admin, but that can be taken a step further, you can have guts, AND inspiration, but even more foundational than that, is self esteem, i beleive that the self esteem issues in this country, and in the world at large are far worse than anyone suspects, and is more the direct results of the world we made, and our parents made than we are willing to admit.

I remember when self esteem was a major point there was classes for it, there was school course work designed to work with it. but like the green house effect it faded from popular media and became a background force making room for the next wagon, which as i recall was obesity, and then homosexuality, then on and on the dance went, getting further and further from what the cause was.
I think we should get back to that, keep self esteem on the center platform for our children, make sure they know their opinion matters, and that they are as good as any other person.

I shudder to think of the future with the self esteem levels where they are now. the difference between someone who is a writer and someone who is a wannabe, is the belief that their story is worth reading. plain and simple, the battle is belief in oneself to make the right decisions, to do the right things, and follow the right path. everything else is peripheral.

I am worth reading, so are you .... so write !

Well, i had a good intention

So last night i became the treasurer for the "Potluck Community Co-op" which is absolutely something i believe in, and think should happen, and therefore im happy to contribute, however im a little worried that our initiatives will be too narrow of scope to inclued the initiatives of Giogo, i hope that some rectification can be had from my input toward this, i have some idea for how to get everyone jump started, and to start making an immediate impact.

Community Garden (enabling initiative)
Members can get an earthworm composting bin, no matter where they live they can compost effective high qualtiy nutrient rich soil, for use in the community garden, for anyone who wants to use the soil, if we can get as a non-profit or through a fund raising initiative, bins, soil and the free worms from raven recycling, we can start mass composting quality soil, with an aim in the future to provide larger quantities to our production members of the co-op, and any community garden growers. This will have the immediate impact of bringing in visibility, increasing member numbers, and incentives for membership, a compost bin and place to put the soil when enriched.

Small Growers Initiative, (enabling initiative)
Using a model from 1000 years ago, we can make it convenient affordable and safe for small growers to sell small quantities of vegtables, and produce to a Co-op merchant organization by taking small quantities from members, for fair market value, and reselling through onine and harvest fair.

Harvest fair,
Co-op should invest time energy and money into hosting a harvest fair, stretching back to when harvest was a time when the communty came together to feast and celebrate their comming year, we should host an event for harvest fair that is more akin to the street celebreations they have in july, with music events, and a festival that includes fundraising and promotional venues for Co-op and its initiatives.

Stalk Exchange,
the website should be set up in such a way that people shopping and people producing can search each other out, using the model i was using from VB's new software, we can set it up so that producers can find who is buying what, and get the best value for their work. and buyers can see who is growing what, and in what quantities they will have it available, this is an embrionic working model and can be applied to anyone with a garden, that is interested in feeding others.

there is a few ideas for how we may want to start some of out projects and a direction to move in while we get sorted out, put here for me, so i will remember them.

Linear or Non-Linear

I find often that i reflect on the method of writting, on the actual process involved the whether to and whether not to's. I find this will consume large quantities of time , and energy, trying to investigate, find advice, and find refrence for that advice, this is alot of time spent to find something that absolutely has no answer for the most part.

On the one hand, many writers need assistance with some of the minutia in getting a story/poem/ book published, they are left with questions as for what now, and who should i contact, now these are good questions, ones that need answers and im glad these resources are available, but for the other stuff, there simply is no answer any more, even if there was an answer once.

How long should it be, should i write linear or write peripheral notes and background first, should i use a plot bubble, a story board or some software that will organize my characters by age and blah blah deblah. Ill tell you, my advice to you is this, just write.. if your story is linear in your head, yeah, write linear, treat the action sequences and romance scenes and climax (hehe) like a reward for writing all the blah blah in between cool sword fight scenes.
it should be as long as the story is , worry about media AFTER its written, be it comic book or 12 book series, write first, present after. character profiles, scene notes and backgrounds? well there is disciplines that insist you must, or musnt, here is the advice i have for you , after all my sweat and work , if you have em, AND you want them , do them ( up side is that they can be a book after your book hits the top sellers) if you don't have em, and don't care, then don't include 'em nuff said.
story board if you want, plot bubble if you need to , organize your thoughts as best you can, whatever works to get you writing, our biggest snag is feeling like a writer without having actually written anything, don't stop there, keep going, keep writing, write till your fingers bleed and you have no story left, then write some more, because only getting in your 10000 hours will make you a professional.

Yes my blog counts 368 words, and 15 minutes closer to my goals right? Write?!

soooooo many ideas

I have a hard time understanding people sometimes, not that i should have this great mastery over understanding people and motive and the ebb and flow of life, but i do understand enough to get by i guess.

What I'm referring to is of course peoples inability to conjure, not magic, but peoples inability to create, to generate from nothing, to design from concept. Why can one person pick up a pencil and sketch a dragon, which is perfectly simple to them, then another picks it up and scratches their head with it.One more would jot down a sentence about a stormy night. What is the human ability to create, be it in art, literature or mathematics, why can one person write a book, in their head, literally in minutes, while another would not be able to even think of a name for a book that were original ?

I don't mean to condescend, so please don't take it that way, I'm honestly curious. I create as effortlessly as you would move from one side of the room to another, with as little effort and with equally measurable results. however I couldn't , say, repair your car, that is way beyond my ability. Taken in small quantity it is nearly inconceivable to either side of this argument that other people can't do what they can. I can scarcely even contemplate the reality that everyone doesn't have a book in them, but a mechanic would have a hard time understanding why i need help changing the oil in my car i guess.

I have literally sat here today , working, and created no less than 3 FANTASTIC stories , ones that require dozens, maybe hundreds of hours to actually type out, but they are fleshed out enough that i could tell you all about them, come up with art concepts or whatever i needed, it was easy and fast,but I have a hard time visualizing that someone else couldn't do it, i guess people can be taught to do it, I mean if i cared enough I could learn about my car and how to fix it, but i don't, I guess that door swings both ways too, I'm literally incapable of seeing it from that point of view as a reality, I could create that point of view, though so like anything else in life, I will simply assume I'm right and move on.

The Ability to Create is a wonderful gift, that too many take too lightly.

A New chapter II

Continued thoughts on terminology and the human gift for suck.

Unless of course, you were referring to A New chapter, as an ultimate acceptance of fate, and this is simply the introduction of a new set of characters and places, new things to do while you wait for the end of the book. What if you didnt know how the book would end? I find myself asking, wouldn't a new chapter be appealing then?

Assuming that i Didn't know, then yes a new chapter sounds like a lovely idea. "I'm opening a new chapter in my life! and its exciting cause i don't know what will happen next..

Yes, why i can see how that would be an appealing opportunity, and even how someone (Not Me) could conceive to use this metaphor to describe an exciting outcome.

On the other hand,What if i do know how the book will end, and new chapter is simply the authors way of throwing in that crucial plot twist that no-one was expecting!

I guess i can support the use of this metaphor for now, i don't see how it will affect my future to denounce or endorse its use so please bare in mind that you should use the terms with caution, but use them you may, you have my blessing.

And we all know that you desperately needed my blessing to open that new chapter in your life..
please do, this one got boring real fast :)

A New Chapter!

So often, you hear people say, its a new chapter in my life!

What is that? Im afraid i have some bad news for all you people out

there who think that a new chapter in your life may be a good thing..

Books don't change plots half way through a story, the ending is still

the same the girl gets the guy, even if she started a new chapter 100 times

over... "Im starting a new chapter in my life" but the plot is the same and the

book is going to end the same...

Listen, I'm all for changing your life for the better, I'm all for making your

world a happier place. But if you thinking of starting a new chapter, please,

consider that you may need to switch books. If switching books is what you need

im all yours, and the best of luck to you !

Im starting a New chapter in MY life, but its chapter one, and the book is new!

The new book needs a dedication

Thanks to my loving wife for all her support :)

Dear Follower

Dear Follower,

I see you there, on the periphery of my blog,
your kitty, looking all playful, how are you?

It is to the followers of the world i speak, those
that take the time, and consideration to read the
often meaningless ramble that the bloggers of the
world deign to share, And it is to you that I will
give the most precious of posts, and most sincerest
of warm smiles (pauses to smile)

It does us all a little good, to know that someone is
even interested that i Might say something useful,
or informative, and cares enough to check.

So thank you, even though I'm posting for me, and you
may not know what they are about, I'm posting for you too
Dear follower.

how bloggy is a blog post?

I had totally written a post about letting go of harmful memories,but instead im going to ask a question, cause it was just getting creepy.

How long is a blog post, y'know in the blog community, one from which i still consider myself very much NOT a part of, cause being on my 3rd post, and already a day behind, I'm forced to ask myself some very fundamental questions, like , who cares ? and what should i post about? how personal should i make this post? and the like. but really i have to say that the blog has only one real interest to me, and i also think its the one thing that might actually keep me from posting.

How do you keep yourself looking and feeling sophisticated enough that people want to read your posts (not to laugh at anyway), and post regularly with any kind of personal thought put into it, if I'm spending hours composing my post so that i don't look like my thinking is somewhat akin to a half eaten plate of chicken at my gram-ma's house, ( you'll just have to trust me, no picture is forthcoming) is it really me that your reading? is it really me that is posting at that point?

How long should i spend composing my thoughts, writing them carefully, so as to appear as talented as like... a writer, and witty, and stuff so people will enjoy the read, perhaps more than they would enjoy a conversation with its author, and in all fairness would it not be safer to just find a hallmark card and send it to them, its just as much the real me right?

I spent all this time finding the perfect card...

Thats What I want

Are you happy?

Most of the time you find yourself guaging your position in life,

depending of course on what it is you seek, if you seek money, your

consistently looking up your balances, your current Cash, and your past transactions.

If you seek love, you watch sappy movies, you go out often, and you search

for the love that you sure you deserve (and you probably deserve more)

If you are searching for a house, you cruise the classifieds, you look around

neighborhoods you want to live in and you check in with mortgage calculators,

pad savings accounts and plan color patterns....

Happiness is a commodity, like anything else, the mistake that most people make

is they invest it into something, like love, money or a house.. but Happiness can be had

without any of that if you seek it , like the other things, you just have to learn where to look

to see what you have, what you need, what you had yesterday , and what you will want to have

tomorrow.

You take a deep breath, you count your fingers, you look into the eyes of your friends, your family, and most importantly , yourself, and ask yourself, what are you happy about right now?

you may or may not have an answer that you like... but you will have an answer, which is the same as having a cash balance, a for sale sign, or a sappy movie to watch with a loved one. its somewhere to start...

Yes, i am happy.

how did i get to this place

You ever wonder "how did i get to this place?"

What is it we're chasing out there, the american dream, a higher ideal? What are you working for? or towards?

Have you ever looked up from your life and just wondered... how did i get to this place?

What wild set of chased dreams, narrow visions and pit falls have put you to where you are now?

and how are you going to get back to where you want to be, you would even accept going back to where you were, but your (sometimes literally) buried under your current .. situation.

I have thought this through carefully, and i've decided that i certainly missed my mark, i am not anywhere even remotely close to where i was shooting at a year ago, or 10 years ago, so what is the path i want to be on then? i think the part that is missed most often when one seeks the road out, is that there is first the need to take the road back.

In an apple orchard, arms outreached, you had a goal in mind, you found a ladder, and climbed it, when you had all you wanted you fell off the ladder... Do you get up and go get an orange? typically, or logically, one would say "simply climb the ladder again and get what you wanted" so what is it in life that changes the parameters of what we want so fast and so drastically that we loose site of the things that we were after in the first place.

So often in life we hear, see and even occasionally understand the most profound truths, about others, about life in general or society, but so few are able to apply that to a working model in their lives. Or in some way discern what it is about that truth that can apply to them and their lives.

Well if you have asked this question , so have I , and many others like us, it is our responsibility to take matters into our own hands, to make the changes and take steps to not only move on , but to move ahead, even if it means you have to look back ....

"Sometimes the way forward, is the way ... back" Frank oz's hand told me that once. I just dont think i took it to heart until now.