Sometimes you get the Bear...

I barely have the energy to write a post about how little energy i have left at the end of the day... I have been busting my ass, swimming upstream and fighting the tide.. and some other useful metaphors implying that life it hard.

It doesn't have to be. I have, for years now been living on a philosophy of fate, good things will come when they are due sort of stuff. Its true you know, if you let the sands of time and the winds of fate flow, they will form you a world of natural perfection and a sense of well being throughout.

What if you want more, you hear people say "know what you want and take it", you make your own future, you build your own luck etc. etc. I'm going to take a moment to analyze these positions and maybe contrast them a little to have a better understanding.

"If something is too hard to do , maybe it isn't what you should be doing" is something that, someone i respect immensely said to me once, and she was right, if your digging hard for that 5000$ to buy a car and your begging, borrowing and stealing to get it , but you could afford the 2500$ car, you should, in most cases buy the cheap car, and save up money to buy a bigger better one, the path of least resistance. planning ahead, and a penny saved, these are all philosophies of being and states of mind that will carry a person through life comfortably, and more or less risk free (barring disasters, which everyone has and has to deal with as they come)

"If you want something, just decide, and make it happen" Sometimes the thing you want is out of reach, but you want it anyway. what then? should fate be spun another hand, and you should let go your claim? or should you take it, step on faces, piss people off, and burn bridges to get it? and more importantly, how do you tell the difference between "lifes obstacles" and "fates fickle fingers"

Is this a challenge I'm meant to overcome to grow, and learn and experience, or is this fate telling me that this is not the time... normally I would say so , but then, I'm passive aggressive by nature, and more inclined to just let nature takes its course. so that answer is easier, like the first paragraph.

But I want this, i want it hard and in a way that i dont often want things, want it like i wanted my children and my wife.. Want it like it was mine and someone stole it ...
Want it like im not going to accept your answer no matter what you think i will do ..

Want it like ... Sometimes the Bear gets you .. but this time, I'm the Bear..

Fuck You Fate!, I'll do it myself ...