Every fall I find I am stricken with an "Examine my life" phase.. were I start to shake things up , and re-prioritize. Though in itself this is not a bad thing, I find it disquieting that I end up doing it every year.. but even more , that I have to keep doing it every year...
Too much movies, not enough cleaning, too much video games not enough working... its like I'm on a natural slide to slack, and every year I notice how much. so here we go again, cutting back on the video games, stepping up on the working projects.. Its time to recommit again, and start working on some killer projects.. Im thinking that I will step up my work to a more social level, and find a way to work at home, after work, from 3 till 6 every day. I have a scheduler coming now, we will see how that helps, the living room is also a nicer space, i think we can work with that too.
we will see
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Monday, September 27, 2010
Fate walks into a bar..
Fate walks in , sits down and says to you .. "We need to talk"
Your heart grows cold as the words come out... you begin to think back to all the things that may have gone wrong.. at what you could have done differently , of why you said the things you said ...
Ill admit, my last post was bold, and strong worded, but i felt that it was a necessary statement, like i had to gain control of the situation and tell fate what i really thought..
did i know better then and just experienced a teenage 'esk' lapse in judgement and rebellion? did i know that fate was really in control anyway, no matter what i said? or did i think that i was really going to get away with it?
The DAY after i made that post with the F U Fate ..
I get a phone call at 6:30 at night... congratulating me on winning the habitat for humanity house... a 500k house .. interest free mortgage ... downtown... using the latest in super green construction techniques... brand new .... mine..
Fate walks into the room, looks me in the eye and says.. aren't you glad you didn't get that mortgage?
Your heart grows cold as the words come out... you begin to think back to all the things that may have gone wrong.. at what you could have done differently , of why you said the things you said ...
Ill admit, my last post was bold, and strong worded, but i felt that it was a necessary statement, like i had to gain control of the situation and tell fate what i really thought..
did i know better then and just experienced a teenage 'esk' lapse in judgement and rebellion? did i know that fate was really in control anyway, no matter what i said? or did i think that i was really going to get away with it?
The DAY after i made that post with the F U Fate ..
I get a phone call at 6:30 at night... congratulating me on winning the habitat for humanity house... a 500k house .. interest free mortgage ... downtown... using the latest in super green construction techniques... brand new .... mine..
Fate walks into the room, looks me in the eye and says.. aren't you glad you didn't get that mortgage?
Monday, September 20, 2010
Sometimes you get the Bear...
I barely have the energy to write a post about how little energy i have left at the end of the day... I have been busting my ass, swimming upstream and fighting the tide.. and some other useful metaphors implying that life it hard.
It doesn't have to be. I have, for years now been living on a philosophy of fate, good things will come when they are due sort of stuff. Its true you know, if you let the sands of time and the winds of fate flow, they will form you a world of natural perfection and a sense of well being throughout.
What if you want more, you hear people say "know what you want and take it", you make your own future, you build your own luck etc. etc. I'm going to take a moment to analyze these positions and maybe contrast them a little to have a better understanding.
"If something is too hard to do , maybe it isn't what you should be doing" is something that, someone i respect immensely said to me once, and she was right, if your digging hard for that 5000$ to buy a car and your begging, borrowing and stealing to get it , but you could afford the 2500$ car, you should, in most cases buy the cheap car, and save up money to buy a bigger better one, the path of least resistance. planning ahead, and a penny saved, these are all philosophies of being and states of mind that will carry a person through life comfortably, and more or less risk free (barring disasters, which everyone has and has to deal with as they come)
"If you want something, just decide, and make it happen" Sometimes the thing you want is out of reach, but you want it anyway. what then? should fate be spun another hand, and you should let go your claim? or should you take it, step on faces, piss people off, and burn bridges to get it? and more importantly, how do you tell the difference between "lifes obstacles" and "fates fickle fingers"
Is this a challenge I'm meant to overcome to grow, and learn and experience, or is this fate telling me that this is not the time... normally I would say so , but then, I'm passive aggressive by nature, and more inclined to just let nature takes its course. so that answer is easier, like the first paragraph.
But I want this, i want it hard and in a way that i dont often want things, want it like i wanted my children and my wife.. Want it like it was mine and someone stole it ...
Want it like im not going to accept your answer no matter what you think i will do ..
Want it like ... Sometimes the Bear gets you .. but this time, I'm the Bear..
Fuck You Fate!, I'll do it myself ...
It doesn't have to be. I have, for years now been living on a philosophy of fate, good things will come when they are due sort of stuff. Its true you know, if you let the sands of time and the winds of fate flow, they will form you a world of natural perfection and a sense of well being throughout.
What if you want more, you hear people say "know what you want and take it", you make your own future, you build your own luck etc. etc. I'm going to take a moment to analyze these positions and maybe contrast them a little to have a better understanding.
"If something is too hard to do , maybe it isn't what you should be doing" is something that, someone i respect immensely said to me once, and she was right, if your digging hard for that 5000$ to buy a car and your begging, borrowing and stealing to get it , but you could afford the 2500$ car, you should, in most cases buy the cheap car, and save up money to buy a bigger better one, the path of least resistance. planning ahead, and a penny saved, these are all philosophies of being and states of mind that will carry a person through life comfortably, and more or less risk free (barring disasters, which everyone has and has to deal with as they come)
"If you want something, just decide, and make it happen" Sometimes the thing you want is out of reach, but you want it anyway. what then? should fate be spun another hand, and you should let go your claim? or should you take it, step on faces, piss people off, and burn bridges to get it? and more importantly, how do you tell the difference between "lifes obstacles" and "fates fickle fingers"
Is this a challenge I'm meant to overcome to grow, and learn and experience, or is this fate telling me that this is not the time... normally I would say so , but then, I'm passive aggressive by nature, and more inclined to just let nature takes its course. so that answer is easier, like the first paragraph.
But I want this, i want it hard and in a way that i dont often want things, want it like i wanted my children and my wife.. Want it like it was mine and someone stole it ...
Want it like im not going to accept your answer no matter what you think i will do ..
Want it like ... Sometimes the Bear gets you .. but this time, I'm the Bear..
Fuck You Fate!, I'll do it myself ...
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
The Battle
The battle was pitched, and arduous, I climbed thousand word mountain, with apathy and sloth taking pot shots at me. Once i reached the bunker on warmed up hill, with a thousand words behind me and ten thousand words ahead, my line wavered. After a quick recharge of encouragement, I leapt into the fray once more, taking first Pros pass, Then Chapter 5 hall, we were pinned down there, we pulled out for a little R & R in casa del buffy.
Before the R & R was over it was canceled by General She' Toaldmatoo and we were shipped back out to the battle of foothold bluff, where we gained ground in the advance but paid a price to high.
The Battle was not over however, at the end of the day, we had only made it half way to the enemy force in 30kWords, and the Stronghold of Editing valley.. but that is another story for another time.
Before the R & R was over it was canceled by General She' Toaldmatoo and we were shipped back out to the battle of foothold bluff, where we gained ground in the advance but paid a price to high.
The Battle was not over however, at the end of the day, we had only made it half way to the enemy force in 30kWords, and the Stronghold of Editing valley.. but that is another story for another time.
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Just do it!
So the time has come, i have been working on my novel for nearly a year, im through 8 of ten chapters on the first draft, and ran out of gas 3 or 4 months ago, i reached "That point" of the book (Neil Gaiman) where it all starts to read like tripe, and i cant imagine anyone could possibly want to read it .. apparently, according to Neil Gaiman, that is not only a good thing, it means im almost done.
As i predicted, i hummed, and hawwed, and worried about lighting , and moaned about blocks of time, and pissed about uninterrupted work flow.. but here i am , last day, i am making the final push to plow through the word count, editing will take care of the rest, i will start in a few minutes the process of filling out the remaining 10k words ish of the book, and turn it into a Juggernaut of literature AFTER...
The story is good, the premise is good, the story till i reached "that part" was great, so im going to suck it in... turn my body sideways and slide through ... hoping not to knock anything over.
see you on the other side, ill post when its done. :)
As i predicted, i hummed, and hawwed, and worried about lighting , and moaned about blocks of time, and pissed about uninterrupted work flow.. but here i am , last day, i am making the final push to plow through the word count, editing will take care of the rest, i will start in a few minutes the process of filling out the remaining 10k words ish of the book, and turn it into a Juggernaut of literature AFTER...
The story is good, the premise is good, the story till i reached "that part" was great, so im going to suck it in... turn my body sideways and slide through ... hoping not to knock anything over.
see you on the other side, ill post when its done. :)
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Busy Busy
I wish i could find it, i wish i could find the motivation to meet my vision, and ambition.
I have posted before about how I have a zillion great ideas, and then run out of gas during the development phase.. well Mrs.Redmage said to me this morning.. " I don't know how to MAKE you work on your ideas" i mean, she said more than that,it was actually like a conversation thing.. but i forget most of it and that was the part i wanted to talk about today so ..
Friendly Accountability.
Knowing that your counting on me to get something done, will make me do it. I wont have to be reminded (much) why im doing it, when its due, and what its for.. those things make work happen. if you need a picture for this scene "a bird in a window" ill draw it on time, and to your liking. but if you say "draw me a picture" ill hum and ill haw, and ill waste time playing games complaining about timing and worrying about lighting.
Flow charts.
I work great with flow charts, i need help in remembering to look at a flow chart, but i can build one and follow it, we put my flow chart in a bad space and i think we should move it into the computer room.
Deadlines for Completion.
A flowchart that has a deadline is double effective, and allows for a time scheduled breakdown of tasks at hand.
Sticky Notes, and Uninterrupted time: too often you set yourself a time, and find yourself being inturupted or constrained by other commitments... its the blocks of uninterrupted time you need te be able to count on to be productive.. for example, at an office you have blocks of time that are uninterrupted, if your at work, you frequently have little else to do but work, your lunch time maybe, and your after work time, but while at work... not much else to do.
Anyway, thats just a few thoughts on how I could better work without a project being my actual job.
I have posted before about how I have a zillion great ideas, and then run out of gas during the development phase.. well Mrs.Redmage said to me this morning.. " I don't know how to MAKE you work on your ideas" i mean, she said more than that,it was actually like a conversation thing.. but i forget most of it and that was the part i wanted to talk about today so ..
Friendly Accountability.
Knowing that your counting on me to get something done, will make me do it. I wont have to be reminded (much) why im doing it, when its due, and what its for.. those things make work happen. if you need a picture for this scene "a bird in a window" ill draw it on time, and to your liking. but if you say "draw me a picture" ill hum and ill haw, and ill waste time playing games complaining about timing and worrying about lighting.
Flow charts.
I work great with flow charts, i need help in remembering to look at a flow chart, but i can build one and follow it, we put my flow chart in a bad space and i think we should move it into the computer room.
Deadlines for Completion.
A flowchart that has a deadline is double effective, and allows for a time scheduled breakdown of tasks at hand.
Sticky Notes, and Uninterrupted time: too often you set yourself a time, and find yourself being inturupted or constrained by other commitments... its the blocks of uninterrupted time you need te be able to count on to be productive.. for example, at an office you have blocks of time that are uninterrupted, if your at work, you frequently have little else to do but work, your lunch time maybe, and your after work time, but while at work... not much else to do.
Anyway, thats just a few thoughts on how I could better work without a project being my actual job.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Warhammer 40K Campaign
Phase 1
Summerfall - Agricultural Planet VIILMC III
A nondescript agricultural planet on the outer rim has gone silent, about three weeks ago, a large repopulating ship, the "Endeavor" was scheduled to arrive with 25,000 new settler's and the equipment and supplies to expand the existing agricultural base, the ship was not reported to arrive, more disturbingly, the Imperial Moon Base in orbit of the planet Outpost Z-Tak-Beta Epsilon 23 reported its passing through scan-net en route to the planet, though failed to check in.
That was the last communication from z-tak-be 23 or the planet, and "The Mephisto" the Space Marine "Fury chapter" was sent to investigate, as well as Sisters of Battle.
The Colony ship had experienced a warp incident, and the ship was infected with Tyranids during the Deep warp disturbance. Within a few hours the 25000 colonists were dead, and the ship crashed into the surface of the planet.
Responding to the Threat, the Tau, keenly launch a scouting mission from their secret location on the far side of the third moon of the planet, in synchronous orbit of the planet with moon one, and therefore never detectable by conventional imperial systems. they send representatives from both clans, to find the two major parts of the wreckage the cargo containers, the suspected origin of the tyranid incursion, and the habitat section (where the incursion ended, and where any survivors might be found and eliminated)
When the engine section crashed down into the Cragsback mountains on the north ridge, it had at least one unusual effect, the crash stirred an ancient spore pocket, a cloud from which spilled the Broketooth Ork Spores, and a more Vicious Clan of Orcs could not be found. the Drums of war began to beat, deep in the quiet heartland of Summerfall.
Phase 1 PlayGuide-
Game A - Scouting Party
Tau 250 pt
Imperial 250 pt
Tau Forces have landed, and deployed a small scouting force to investigate the Cargo section of the ship, hoping to find signs of the Tyranid incursion, however what they find is a small imperial force in salvage operations. Tau have 6 Turns to take the 5 cargo sections, or they loose, the imperials successfully salvage and evacuate.
72' battle area- 5 obstacles (placed in 5 dice patern :-: on imperial half of board.
6' tau deployment area
12' Imperial Deployment area
This is an NPC Imperial army and suffers no ill effects from losing.
Tau Victory - 10 Pts + 10 pts for each obstacle they control at the end of turn 6
Total destruction- 60 pts for total tau victory.
Game B- Scouting Party
Tau 250 pts
Tyranid 250 pts
The Tau scouting party has come to look for and eliminate or enslave any survivors of the crash, and destroy any Tyranid threat before it becomes aware of the Tau moon base. the Tyranid occupy the crashed vessel, and have eliminated most of the survivors, and started constructing a hive. The Tau must Eliminate all the Hive nodes and hold the field at the end of Turn 6 to gain victory.
72' battle area- 1 Giant obstacle (placed in center on tyranid half of board) 2 smalls placed on Tau side (1 in deployment zone 1 within 12' outside of deployment.
8' tau deployment area
36' Tyranid Deployment area
Tau Victory-(50 pts) + Tactical Superiority, the Tau may deploy last on their next encounter with the Tyranid
Tyranid Victory- A hive has been established on this location,the Tyranid now have control of the map grid, and follow Defender rules for all future battles at this location. all tyranid points are now located at this point.
Game C- Surprise Party!
Space Marine 200 pts
Sister of Battle 200 pts
Orcs 250 pts
Orcs 250pts
The Drop ship, and drop pods have landed in the center of a quiet clearing, as the Marines and the sisters emerge, they realize they are completely surrounded by orcs and outnumbered as usual, back to back, they prepare to hold off the onslaught of greenskins about to rain down on them.
Space Marines / Sisters must survive 6 turns to claim victory
Orcs Must destroy the forces of the empire to claim victory.
72' battle area- 1 pod for each squad of marines, and one medium ship for the sisters landing ship.all in the center of the map
Space Marines and Sisters must deploy within 6' of their landing craft.
orcs have a 12' deployment zone on both sides of the table. deploying at least 100 pts on either side
Space Marine Victory- If Space Marines win, Solo-(no sisters left)50 pts Allied victory 100 pts
Sisters of Battle - Victory - Solo(no space marines) 50 pts, allied vicotory 100 pts
Orcs Victory +1 Looter Squad Added to the Army Roster.(must use something lost( burna, Rokkit launhca, sisters heavy... etc)
Summerfall - Agricultural Planet VIILMC III
A nondescript agricultural planet on the outer rim has gone silent, about three weeks ago, a large repopulating ship, the "Endeavor" was scheduled to arrive with 25,000 new settler's and the equipment and supplies to expand the existing agricultural base, the ship was not reported to arrive, more disturbingly, the Imperial Moon Base in orbit of the planet Outpost Z-Tak-Beta Epsilon 23 reported its passing through scan-net en route to the planet, though failed to check in.
That was the last communication from z-tak-be 23 or the planet, and "The Mephisto" the Space Marine "Fury chapter" was sent to investigate, as well as Sisters of Battle.
The Colony ship had experienced a warp incident, and the ship was infected with Tyranids during the Deep warp disturbance. Within a few hours the 25000 colonists were dead, and the ship crashed into the surface of the planet.
Responding to the Threat, the Tau, keenly launch a scouting mission from their secret location on the far side of the third moon of the planet, in synchronous orbit of the planet with moon one, and therefore never detectable by conventional imperial systems. they send representatives from both clans, to find the two major parts of the wreckage the cargo containers, the suspected origin of the tyranid incursion, and the habitat section (where the incursion ended, and where any survivors might be found and eliminated)
When the engine section crashed down into the Cragsback mountains on the north ridge, it had at least one unusual effect, the crash stirred an ancient spore pocket, a cloud from which spilled the Broketooth Ork Spores, and a more Vicious Clan of Orcs could not be found. the Drums of war began to beat, deep in the quiet heartland of Summerfall.
Phase 1 PlayGuide-
Game A - Scouting Party
Tau 250 pt
Imperial 250 pt
Tau Forces have landed, and deployed a small scouting force to investigate the Cargo section of the ship, hoping to find signs of the Tyranid incursion, however what they find is a small imperial force in salvage operations. Tau have 6 Turns to take the 5 cargo sections, or they loose, the imperials successfully salvage and evacuate.
72' battle area- 5 obstacles (placed in 5 dice patern :-: on imperial half of board.
6' tau deployment area
12' Imperial Deployment area
This is an NPC Imperial army and suffers no ill effects from losing.
Tau Victory - 10 Pts + 10 pts for each obstacle they control at the end of turn 6
Total destruction- 60 pts for total tau victory.
Game B- Scouting Party
Tau 250 pts
Tyranid 250 pts
The Tau scouting party has come to look for and eliminate or enslave any survivors of the crash, and destroy any Tyranid threat before it becomes aware of the Tau moon base. the Tyranid occupy the crashed vessel, and have eliminated most of the survivors, and started constructing a hive. The Tau must Eliminate all the Hive nodes and hold the field at the end of Turn 6 to gain victory.
72' battle area- 1 Giant obstacle (placed in center on tyranid half of board) 2 smalls placed on Tau side (1 in deployment zone 1 within 12' outside of deployment.
8' tau deployment area
36' Tyranid Deployment area
Tau Victory-(50 pts) + Tactical Superiority, the Tau may deploy last on their next encounter with the Tyranid
Tyranid Victory- A hive has been established on this location,the Tyranid now have control of the map grid, and follow Defender rules for all future battles at this location. all tyranid points are now located at this point.
Game C- Surprise Party!
Space Marine 200 pts
Sister of Battle 200 pts
Orcs 250 pts
Orcs 250pts
The Drop ship, and drop pods have landed in the center of a quiet clearing, as the Marines and the sisters emerge, they realize they are completely surrounded by orcs and outnumbered as usual, back to back, they prepare to hold off the onslaught of greenskins about to rain down on them.
Space Marines / Sisters must survive 6 turns to claim victory
Orcs Must destroy the forces of the empire to claim victory.
72' battle area- 1 pod for each squad of marines, and one medium ship for the sisters landing ship.all in the center of the map
Space Marines and Sisters must deploy within 6' of their landing craft.
orcs have a 12' deployment zone on both sides of the table. deploying at least 100 pts on either side
Space Marine Victory- If Space Marines win, Solo-(no sisters left)50 pts Allied victory 100 pts
Sisters of Battle - Victory - Solo(no space marines) 50 pts, allied vicotory 100 pts
Orcs Victory +1 Looter Squad Added to the Army Roster.(must use something lost( burna, Rokkit launhca, sisters heavy... etc)
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